Stop the Stigmatization of Widows Campaign

Stop the Stigmatization of Widows

Christianity and more especially orthodox religion have not been fair to widowhood. Most widows are hunted by maltreatment, discrimination and stigmatization. The death of a woman's husband automatically plunges her into a state of widowhood, while the death of one's wife on the other hand turns the man into a widower. But in all of this, it's the woman who is faced with maltreatment and sometimes abandonment by the family members and friends of the late husband.

The Painful Reality

Enforced by cultural, social, and or legal bonds, the woman cannot leave even when she wants to. In most cases, widows painfully are cast out. Their possessions, their land, and even their children can be taken from them if she is not strong enough or if she does not have anyone to stand by her. It is a very sad and painful situation, yet the society is far from finding a remedy to their plight.

As widows move through their own experiences of grief, loss, or trauma after the death of a spouse, they may also face economic insecurity, discrimination, stigmatization, and harmful traditional practices on the basis of their marital status.

Listening to Their Stories

The last one month has been very traumatic listening to some widows share their stories, pains and plight. Some are so angry that they wish death should take them or at worst take away those who create burdens for them.

“I have spoken to no less than one hundred widows from different churches within Lagos State and their story is the same - abandonment by the families and friends of their deceased husbands, maltreatment by their husband's family members and to some extent their own family members.”

For those who are allowed to go with their children, they are mostly left with nothing but sorrow, thus making them curse the day they ever got married. Most of these women, unlike their male counterparts, have come to accept loneliness as their partner.

Breaking the Silence

Come to think of it, who in their right senses would kill their own husband? But as we know, the dead can't talk, rather it's the living that are always ready to hold brief for them even when they are not well informed.

We see a lot of our widows dressing shabby and unkept - it's not something they want to do, but they are conforming to what the society wants. Once they dress well, they are tagged all manner of names, some are even called women of loose virtue. What a pain being a widow in Africa and especially in Nigeria.

A Call to Action

Men: Please do everything within your powers while still alive to protect your wife and children from the vicious claws of your siblings and parents who are ever ready to take over what they perceive as yours once you are no more.

Siblings:It's time you all learn to have a life of your own and stop wanting to reap where you did not sow. Once a man is married, give him space, allow him to run his home the way he deems fit. Stop interfering. Stop nosing around.

Be accommodating and caring towards your late brother's wife and kids, they deserve to be loved and appreciated. Death will surely come to every one of us; don't take unnecessary advantage of the dead for your selfish reasons.

Our Commitment

KUTH Foundation will continue to reach out to widows and keep consoling and encouraging them. We ask well-meaning Nigerians to join in providing succor for widows. Treat the living right - no one has ever prayed to be a widow or a widower, rather it's a situation that none of us have control over.

“May God continue to give us wisdom and understanding.”